an early post!

woke up at 5.41..
dunno y juz woke up automatically den sms her..
to wish her good luck.. this reminds me of wad she did to me when i joined danau kota singing comp..
she wished me good luck in the morning although she was sick...
i felt damn sweet. haha.
dunno is it i think too much. i waited from 5.41am til 7.00am..
bt still. my phone din ring.
i thought she angry with me.
finally i cant stand for that n call her.. she told me she is nt angry.
thx god.! i really scare she get angry becuz of me..
i rather she scold me, punch me, hit me bt dun ignore me..

i thought i changed myself.. bt actually i m nt.. i juz need more time to make it a success.
will you wait for me?
can i have more time to achieve it?

i swore i will do it.. wont break the promise.
once i din give up, the promise doesnt consider as break.
i wont make empty promise to u.
cuz u r the one who is important for me.
gv me more time..
can i call u tonight? let me know if u can.

having meeting later..
i gotta miss her so much.
good luck n add oil..

-engleong-

sorry again~

haha.. i dunno wad to blog.
main purpose for this blog. to release sadness

ya.. totally emo now..
feel like crying.
did a stupid thing.. keep calling when her dad next to her.
i really nt an understanding ppl.
sorry..

i really feel to cry.
bt controlling myself nt to.
i m juz too emotional..
sorry~

-engleong-

tomorrow gonna be our big day..

birthday~

is that important?? sure it is..

bt can u sure that tomorrow u sure will feel happy becuz of this..???

i cant make sure of this..i m juz worrying about something.. scare there is something gonna happen tomorrow..which can make me sad..

i HOPE i juz think too much! anyway.. i know my dear will make me hyper.!!!

wakaka.

first of all.. gonna say happy birthday to myself..

Tomorrow is my birthday..

i will nt know wad's gonna happen to me tomorrow in skul..

bt i know i will nt really care.. wakaka..

n most importantly...

Happy birthday to zun zen~

=) we having same birthday date

=) i can celebrate with u

=) happy birthday

=) may all ur wishes come true

i juz cant wait for tomolo!

btw, i gt ntg to say for now..

-engleong-

i m home~

finally i studied today!
i promised myself to study be4 july bt end up with playing computer everyday..
however, i m nt really concentrate becuz thr is something else in my mind which distracted me from studying..
i m nt in a good or bad mood at all.. juz neutral..
last time i used to be either very good or very bad mood in a day..
no matter what happen.. bt surely wont be in a neutral mood..
i juz dunno y today i feel that so.

sometimes i really think that frens are no longer appear in my lifes..
everyone who beside me.. i dunno can i consider them as my frens or juz passer by in my life..
my life is tough.. i juz have to go through everything hardly n with all my effort..
no matter in skul, family or outside...
life isnt that easy yet it is very complicated n tough..
i hope i can pass through every obstacles that i meet in my life..
wish me luck guys n girls...
i need it so much!

let's talk about today..
skip everything about P&P..
she called me suddenly to ask for meng tsu phone number..
i wish to talk to u longer..
bt anyhow, u r in skul n u say money is running out..
so.. forced to say bye to u..
after skul..
every lower 6 CLU committee are busy preparing chinese chess competition..
i m one of them.. n of cuz.. i did alot works as i m the head of the judges of this activity..
this is freaking tiring n tis could make me headache..
i stand for almost 3 hours in a day.. juz to walk around n look how's the progress of the competition..
luckily everything went nt too bad.. bt nt good enuf..
i m nt really satisfy with wad i have done..
anyway.. it is over n we did a great job..
left semi-final n final on this friday~
let's work hard for it CLU!

this is the 6th year i join CLU..
we r getting closer n closer..
i hope we can do better than the year i joined be4..

i still haven received ur reply.. i m worrying about u~

-engleong-

blogging in skul..

this is the first time i blog using skul computer..
it is fun bt yet.. scary..
suddenly someone come from behind n ask.. wad r u doin..
den i m dead! wakaka
however.. juz plan to post a short post here..
to show that i m blogging in skul!

bye everyone who is reading my blog..

-engleong-

i m nt feeling well....

my heart.. aching..

stop thinking!!

be happy~!

u can do it!

原来

i choose this topic as i saw it randomly from dunno where..
juz to type some craps bt couldnt think of the topic of this post..
suddenly moody come strike my mind..
i dunno y la~! i juz dun wanna be emo god back..
wakaka.

wad happen today.. boring duh! dunno wad to do for the whole day..
maths... i always fall asleep la..
how! i cant concentrate.. =(
how to study at home... i cant.. =(
i very stress n many problems will occur if i din score well in my first exam!
i m worried..
wad to do!!!! no one can help anyway!

boring!

i m trying to relate this post to the title..
wakaka. bt i dunno how..
原来，我不是一个好男人。
原来，我一点也不了解。
原来，我还是那么的幼稚。
原来，我。。。

-engleong-

bad day!!!!

wad a bad day for me!
today.. assembly was freaking boring as i m nt really energetic n feel blur at all time..
went to assembly bt skipped lines!
went thr to pass sanjivan YEE CHANG name tag..
funny duh~ guy wearing a girl's name tag..
==

anyway.. assembly passed fast n i was worrying about the next class..
its MUET!! speaking test duh!
i thought i can do it well..
bt the first BAD thing happened...
teacher actually cant really hear my points n she said i nvr link my points to the topic...
i feel disappointed n i gt low marks for that..
onli 28! oh no! bt luckily teacher gave us a chance tro resit for it! IF she gt time..
read properly! IF u know.. nt comfirm yet....

maths! the next bad thing happened...
u know wad.. maths is actually nt that hard if i can concentrate during Mr Tham class..
i fall asleep during his class.. bt i forced myself to open my eye instead of 'fishing'..
i din learn anything during his class..

haiz... sad things juz cant leave me alone..
they juz come attack attack n attack at all time..
went to staff room to look for Mr mazlan..
i went thr for so many days bt still.. He is so busy until i cant meet him once during in these 5 days!
hate it!

finally.. skul finish n i thought i can have a nice CLU meeting..
bt somehow.. theen meng brings me a VERY good news!
i juz cant accept the fact.. n i dunno how to handle it..
i agreed with wad he says.. bt however.. read the following paragraph later~ to be continued in this topic..

went to TS to find Khai hsuen n pei wern with Chloe..
thx Chloe for accompanying me.. otherwise i think i will bored til i die...
reached TS Mcdonald....
saw them..
n go sit together with them..
khai hsuen really kelian as he is totally palau by pei wern n one of her frens.
they was talking non stop until khai hsuen finish the two large packs of french fries..
salute PEI WERN! wakaka..
so much saliva de mie??
finally she gave me some ideas on the bfday presents..

ask khai hsuen n chloe to accompany me to buy the presents..
i spent 3 hours to find for it!
omg! i ju can think of anything to buy for her..
i suddenly feel look down on myself..
onli khai hsuen n chloe know why~
suddenly down at that moment..
n finally bought something which is nt very special...
bt i hope u will like it.. it is very cheap..
i dunno wad to buy.. as dear knows.. i dun like to shopping bt i walked 3 hours.. wakaka..
i juz nt satisfy with wad i bought.. bt i really cant think of anything to buy for u...
eng hong took my first choice's present for u.
n i cant have the another one which is look better than that~
i m sad!

next.. sorry n thx khai hsuen for sending me to pasar seni.. bt in a results of making u get scolded by ur mum.. n summore.. the staff is closed...
i was like == when i reached thr.! FUCK!
another bad thing!!!!!
today really freaking unlucky u know! wad the fuck happen to me today!!!!!!!!

went home.. thought to get some support from my family about wad theen meng told me juz now..
bt in a results of get scolded by them too..
2 brothers n my mum keep talking non stop n make me freaking annoy...
i was freaking tired ady.. n they nvr think of my feeling..
i dunno wad to do... wad u all expect me to do...
i juz wanna do something i like.. bt u all stopped me..

n then.. wads next! this is totally bring my mood to the down-est part...
wad is that!??
huh!!!!!!!!!! i hate it!
i planned to go her skul to meet her tomolo..
bt wad eng hong told me is!! :'' eh, tomolo also the same.. 4 o clock u need to reach titiwangsa... i need u to go UM with me.. den bring mama home..''
wad the fuck! cant u juz tell me be4 i planned all this thing.. n now u ask me find another day to go? i m totally down becuz of this u know!
haiz.. things juz dun go well with me today!

my mood is totally spoilt because of my stuides n my family..
luckily my dear is with me always.. nvr leave me alone..
bt the last thing i mentioned really brought me to the deepest part of hell! i m freaking sad n angry! i juz cant calm myself when i think about it...

bye... mood down...
i need ur console n comfort..
can u call me?

-engleong-

sorry~

i shuldnt off my phone today..
i m so freaking stupid.. i m nt around u when u need me..
i m pissed becuz of myself..
i juz cant do wad i had promised u..
*i broke our emo promise
*i broke my sleep earlier promise
*i broke my rest more promise
lastly
*i broke my always around u promise.

i juz cant forgive myself..
how can i break so many promises..
i wont gv any excuse to my own self anymore.

i wish i could be like last time.. so weak.. can cry out loud easily..
why cant i juz cry now..
no one will know.. how i feel now..
even mayb u oso wont understand..
things are so complicated..

lastly,
dear! sorry~
i cant accompany u when u really need me..
n i really hurt..
when u said:'now i dun feel like find u ady'
i m totally down.. down n down..
T.T
finally.. in the end of this post..
i cried!
teardrops on keyboard...

i cant forgive myself! stupid ENGLEONG

-engleong-

its already 9 o clock

its already 9 o clock..
bt i haven received any messages from u..
r u sleeping?
r u studying?
r u having dinner?

i do not know... =(

where r u? worrying so much!
i really scare u dun want to bother me anymore since that day..
n i dun want u to do that on me anymore..
u know u r important in my life!

however.. wad i post about is all passed..
bcuz... u sms-ed me when i wanna start posting this post..
dunno i shuld feel happy or sad now!
haha! very complicated feeling..
juz to release my sadness in blogging way!

thats all

-engleong-

maxwell singing comp~

yesterday was maxwell singing competition
i was kinda exciting with it!
becuz i know many VICLU mates are supporting me, jacky n oso theen meng..
well.. let's rock the PARTY!!!

haha.. theen meng's number was number 9.. mine was number 16 n jacky is unlucky 52..
mayb consider lucky to him cuz the rest were singing sad song bt he is the onli one who sing hyper song....
theen meng.. u did well la! dun worry! ur first time n at least u got something..
we blame the mic!!!!

me- to my own advise... try harder next year.. do not gv up! u can do better!!!! blame the PA oso...

jacky- gratz la u! u did well.. we were so hyper yesterday!!!!!

the winning probability for VICLU is 100!!!! woooot~~
happy!!!!

finish... bb

-engleong-

after knowing this from someone

do u all think my singing skill is good???
nt really actually..
there is many ppl so far better than me!
i nvr learn.. i nvr taught by someone, i nvr sing everyday at home!
i juz like to sing~!
haha.. sometimes i felt thing juz goes very funny yet complicated..
u know wad??
if i won the competition can really make someone lose with alot unsatisfaction..
i rather lose it.. this is y i always dun wanna join solo category..! becuz when there are so many famous 'singer' compete on the stage.. bt the trophies are nt belongs to either one of them..
bt someone who is nt popular at all.. or mayb u nvr heard his/her name...
u know wad?? i rather lose the competition than i lose a fren in my life!
this thing does affect my mood.. my mood swings after hearing this!
i dunno can i perform well tomolo for my singing comp!
n summore, it is solo category.

as i said, everyone can sing actually...
n for me.. god gv me a nice voice..
i appreciate it so much.. i juz can sing better than some ppl..
bt NOT all.
there are still many ppl can beat me in singing comp..
y m i trying so hard to get the first place for singing comp..??
seriously.. i nvr think of it.. i dun really give a damn to it!
it is okay if i cant a single place from competition..
i lost be4.. nt that i never lose..
i dun care!!!!

i hope there is really ntg between me n u~!
juz work hard together..
we love to sing.. don't you?
juz do our best for tomolo! no matter who is reading this n did take part in maxwell singing competition..
i will do my best..
i can do my best!!!
n tomolo.. will be~
i HAVE done my best!!!!

-engleong-

fuh~

i dunno y m i so moody now..
really becuz of ntg u know.
bt the feeling is freaking annoying..
that even make ur heart pain..
i think too much today..
stop thinking about bad things..
this will make myself worst..

great~
i dunno y.. everyday around 9 sumthing..
my head is like spinning n my vision very blur..
i feel like i m gonna faint some day~
mayb i slept late yesterday.. or i shuld say.. everyday! haha.
juz went back from my aunt house..
my nephew who juz borned one month ago..
today celebrate his one month's bfday..
actually shuld be tomolo..
today my aunt juz simply cook some foods to serve us..
it is nice though..
went back home after eating since our house is juz nearby..
on9 straight to chat with someone important to me..
haha. bt my moody mood haven recovered la.!!!!
gonna make her gek liao~!!! cham cham.. i m scared~~~
trying to calm down myself..
ok.. this is wad i did next.. blogged!!
n now.. click publish..

bye everyone who is reading my blog..

-engleong-

singing comp+dinner

woke up at 5am...
this is the first time i woke up automatically
becuz i had promised PPL to give her morning call
however, she din pick it up..
n i dunno whether she wake up ady or nt?
haha. anyway..
start clean up n make up at 5.15am.

help mum to work be4 i went titiwangsa..
tiring bt good becuz gv me a chance to make myself nt sleepy..
try to open my voice when working..

went titiwangsa after that n saw MBS sentul ppl..
they went thr to support a VIVE girl n pei wern..
i wonder how's pei wern think when she saw someone holding a board while she was singing..
haha..
waiting for zun zen n pei wern at titiwangsa lrt station..
n of cuz. VI ppl..
went thr by bus..
reached thr around 8 if i m nt mistaken.
walking with zun zen n pei wern all the way... while jacky walked with wei inn n chloe..
competition started.. n we all were nt nervouse at all..
bt i think around 20++ participants sang..
we start to be nervous n tension..
we all PANIC duh~~!!!
i was damn scare until i dunno how to sing ady..
zun zen first among 4 of us(zun zen, engleong,jacky,clement)
we all did our best!

den we rest for a while to prepare for second category- DUET!!!~~
actually jacky n i planned to sing duet first so that we can make all others contestants scare sikit..
bt our plan failed cuz solo first!
haha.. funny la.. sure alot ppl say us chuen~
btw.. we did well in duet.. we feel relief after all!~~~
den its clement n kok jian turn...
they like gay lou while singing the last part of the song.. OMG.. i cant imagine it!
then its zun zen n pei wern turn.. they r great..~~ i like their performance.. they juz lack of some communication.. otherwise they can beat the second place de...~~

its time to finished everything..
watch some performances performed by the judger..
damn funny la..
den they announced the results..
they announce crowd award first..
for solo- the little girl from puteri titiwangsa.. (she is great! salute!)
for duet- me n jacky~ woot! thx for everyone who vote for us..

then its duet's results!!
third- zun zen n pei wern~~
second- taman connaught de. i dunno y i juz feel that they abit chuen~! dun like them!
first- jacky n i!! we did well!! great partner!!!

den its solo!
third- the littlegirl who got crowd award juz now
second- me~~~ happy!!!
first- a girl from smk assunta..

den its pic time! i lazy to upload photo here..
anyone who wanna see de hua.. go fb n see urself la..!~
wakaka..

went my house after that..
for 9 skul charity celebration!
i scared she got tired when walk to my house.. cuz she walked a long distance from smk setapak to the bus stop.. den from bus stop nearby my house to my house..
around 5 km we walked i think!
bt she say she is ok.. wakaka.. u r nt weak!! u r strong enuf..
bt still need my protection?? wakaka

reach my house.. n i start show my trophies to my mum..
cuz she dun support me to sing.. bt i won..
den the celebration start at 7.30.
bt whole day i nvr eaten once.. so follow li chen went to kawan lama to eat abit..
ordered my favourite.. ROTI CANAI GORENG!!
wakaka.. eat be4?? nvr??
den went back home.. n start eating again.. cuz the party started.. haha..
crazy me.. bt i cant eat much.. cuz really full dy..

i cant think ady.. cuz now hungry.. thats all la..
p.s- remember wad i told u during competition.. when u r sitting thr..
it is real n i nvr lie..

im happy when together with u.. no matter where we are..
as long as there is me n u.. i think.. i will feel happy at all time..
I did wad i promised.. i nvr lie.. i DIN emo~~~~

-engleong-