tomorrow gonna be our big day..

birthday~

is that important?? sure it is..

bt can u sure that tomorrow u sure will feel happy becuz of this..???

i cant make sure of this..i m juz worrying about something.. scare there is something gonna happen tomorrow..which can make me sad..

i HOPE i juz think too much! anyway.. i know my dear will make me hyper.!!!

wakaka.

first of all.. gonna say happy birthday to myself..

Tomorrow is my birthday..

i will nt know wad's gonna happen to me tomorrow in skul..

bt i know i will nt really care.. wakaka..

n most importantly...

Happy birthday to zun zen~

=) we having same birthday date

=) i can celebrate with u

=) happy birthday

=) may all ur wishes come true

i juz cant wait for tomolo!

btw, i gt ntg to say for now..

-engleong-

i m home~

finally i studied today!
i promised myself to study be4 july bt end up with playing computer everyday..
however, i m nt really concentrate becuz thr is something else in my mind which distracted me from studying..
i m nt in a good or bad mood at all.. juz neutral..
last time i used to be either very good or very bad mood in a day..
no matter what happen.. bt surely wont be in a neutral mood..
i juz dunno y today i feel that so.

sometimes i really think that frens are no longer appear in my lifes..
everyone who beside me.. i dunno can i consider them as my frens or juz passer by in my life..
my life is tough.. i juz have to go through everything hardly n with all my effort..
no matter in skul, family or outside...
life isnt that easy yet it is very complicated n tough..
i hope i can pass through every obstacles that i meet in my life..
wish me luck guys n girls...
i need it so much!

let's talk about today..
skip everything about P&P..
she called me suddenly to ask for meng tsu phone number..
i wish to talk to u longer..
bt anyhow, u r in skul n u say money is running out..
so.. forced to say bye to u..
after skul..
every lower 6 CLU committee are busy preparing chinese chess competition..
i m one of them.. n of cuz.. i did alot works as i m the head of the judges of this activity..
this is freaking tiring n tis could make me headache..
i stand for almost 3 hours in a day.. juz to walk around n look how's the progress of the competition..
luckily everything went nt too bad.. bt nt good enuf..
i m nt really satisfy with wad i have done..
anyway.. it is over n we did a great job..
left semi-final n final on this friday~
let's work hard for it CLU!

this is the 6th year i join CLU..
we r getting closer n closer..
i hope we can do better than the year i joined be4..

i still haven received ur reply.. i m worrying about u~

-engleong-

blogging in skul..

this is the first time i blog using skul computer..
it is fun bt yet.. scary..
suddenly someone come from behind n ask.. wad r u doin..
den i m dead! wakaka
however.. juz plan to post a short post here..
to show that i m blogging in skul!

bye everyone who is reading my blog..

-engleong-

i m nt feeling well....

my heart.. aching..

stop thinking!!

be happy~!

u can do it!

原来

i choose this topic as i saw it randomly from dunno where..
juz to type some craps bt couldnt think of the topic of this post..
suddenly moody come strike my mind..
i dunno y la~! i juz dun wanna be emo god back..
wakaka.

wad happen today.. boring duh! dunno wad to do for the whole day..
maths... i always fall asleep la..
how! i cant concentrate.. =(
how to study at home... i cant.. =(
i very stress n many problems will occur if i din score well in my first exam!
i m worried..
wad to do!!!! no one can help anyway!

boring!

i m trying to relate this post to the title..
wakaka. bt i dunno how..
原来，我不是一个好男人。
原来，我一点也不了解。
原来，我还是那么的幼稚。
原来，我。。。

-engleong-

bad day!!!!

wad a bad day for me!
today.. assembly was freaking boring as i m nt really energetic n feel blur at all time..
went to assembly bt skipped lines!
went thr to pass sanjivan YEE CHANG name tag..
funny duh~ guy wearing a girl's name tag..
==

anyway.. assembly passed fast n i was worrying about the next class..
its MUET!! speaking test duh!
i thought i can do it well..
bt the first BAD thing happened...
teacher actually cant really hear my points n she said i nvr link my points to the topic...
i feel disappointed n i gt low marks for that..
onli 28! oh no! bt luckily teacher gave us a chance tro resit for it! IF she gt time..
read properly! IF u know.. nt comfirm yet....

maths! the next bad thing happened...
u know wad.. maths is actually nt that hard if i can concentrate during Mr Tham class..
i fall asleep during his class.. bt i forced myself to open my eye instead of 'fishing'..
i din learn anything during his class..

haiz... sad things juz cant leave me alone..
they juz come attack attack n attack at all time..
went to staff room to look for Mr mazlan..
i went thr for so many days bt still.. He is so busy until i cant meet him once during in these 5 days!
hate it!

finally.. skul finish n i thought i can have a nice CLU meeting..
bt somehow.. theen meng brings me a VERY good news!
i juz cant accept the fact.. n i dunno how to handle it..
i agreed with wad he says.. bt however.. read the following paragraph later~ to be continued in this topic..

went to TS to find Khai hsuen n pei wern with Chloe..
thx Chloe for accompanying me.. otherwise i think i will bored til i die...
reached TS Mcdonald....
saw them..
n go sit together with them..
khai hsuen really kelian as he is totally palau by pei wern n one of her frens.
they was talking non stop until khai hsuen finish the two large packs of french fries..
salute PEI WERN! wakaka..
so much saliva de mie??
finally she gave me some ideas on the bfday presents..

ask khai hsuen n chloe to accompany me to buy the presents..
i spent 3 hours to find for it!
omg! i ju can think of anything to buy for her..
i suddenly feel look down on myself..
onli khai hsuen n chloe know why~
suddenly down at that moment..
n finally bought something which is nt very special...
bt i hope u will like it.. it is very cheap..
i dunno wad to buy.. as dear knows.. i dun like to shopping bt i walked 3 hours.. wakaka..
i juz nt satisfy with wad i bought.. bt i really cant think of anything to buy for u...
eng hong took my first choice's present for u.
n i cant have the another one which is look better than that~
i m sad!

next.. sorry n thx khai hsuen for sending me to pasar seni.. bt in a results of making u get scolded by ur mum.. n summore.. the staff is closed...
i was like == when i reached thr.! FUCK!
another bad thing!!!!!
today really freaking unlucky u know! wad the fuck happen to me today!!!!!!!!

went home.. thought to get some support from my family about wad theen meng told me juz now..
bt in a results of get scolded by them too..
2 brothers n my mum keep talking non stop n make me freaking annoy...
i was freaking tired ady.. n they nvr think of my feeling..
i dunno wad to do... wad u all expect me to do...
i juz wanna do something i like.. bt u all stopped me..

n then.. wads next! this is totally bring my mood to the down-est part...
wad is that!??
huh!!!!!!!!!! i hate it!
i planned to go her skul to meet her tomolo..
bt wad eng hong told me is!! :'' eh, tomolo also the same.. 4 o clock u need to reach titiwangsa... i need u to go UM with me.. den bring mama home..''
wad the fuck! cant u juz tell me be4 i planned all this thing.. n now u ask me find another day to go? i m totally down becuz of this u know!
haiz.. things juz dun go well with me today!

my mood is totally spoilt because of my stuides n my family..
luckily my dear is with me always.. nvr leave me alone..
bt the last thing i mentioned really brought me to the deepest part of hell! i m freaking sad n angry! i juz cant calm myself when i think about it...

bye... mood down...
i need ur console n comfort..
can u call me?

-engleong-

sorry~

i shuldnt off my phone today..
i m so freaking stupid.. i m nt around u when u need me..
i m pissed becuz of myself..
i juz cant do wad i had promised u..
*i broke our emo promise
*i broke my sleep earlier promise
*i broke my rest more promise
lastly
*i broke my always around u promise.

i juz cant forgive myself..
how can i break so many promises..
i wont gv any excuse to my own self anymore.

i wish i could be like last time.. so weak.. can cry out loud easily..
why cant i juz cry now..
no one will know.. how i feel now..
even mayb u oso wont understand..
things are so complicated..

lastly,
dear! sorry~
i cant accompany u when u really need me..
n i really hurt..
when u said:'now i dun feel like find u ady'
i m totally down.. down n down..
T.T
finally.. in the end of this post..
i cried!
teardrops on keyboard...

i cant forgive myself! stupid ENGLEONG

-engleong-