random

at my brother university now..
i totally gt ntg to do here as my brother having meeting right now..
wth man.. he left me in his hostel room..
luckily his university has wi-fi service..
otherwise, i definitely killed by the boredom here..
omg!! first time stay together with another guy who i dunno at all..
he is my brother roommate..
well.. he is nt my roommate.. i feel so paiseh when blogging infront of him..
i mean.. in front of someone who i dunno at all or we known them as strangers..
haha..

well.. gt ntg to do here.. so plan to blog a little bit about today..
since all of my frens include my classmates are all goin to ARP camp today..
my class onli left one person which is me!! so all the teachers planned nt to teach..
of cuz.. if teacher wanna teach me alone, i will say NO to them too..
wad for studying alone.. of cuz wait for my fren to continue the syllabus together..
i m nt that selfish lol~
perhaps i m lazy.. haha..
chatted with them at open hall from 9 til 11.. becuz some of the stupid ppl said they will depart at 9 bt ended up depart at 11 sumthing..
omg!! haha. bt nt bad oso la..
can chat for so long~ haha..
make a lot noise n fun..
y i always can joke in skul, bt nt at home..
i wonder if i can be a joker at home.
today things wont happen n my mood wont be ruined today!!

reached home at 5 sumthing..
sit at home i thought i can sit down quietly n rest for a moment..
suddenly, my mum started everything.. talk about me! gv up studies becuz of on9-ing, girs, frens, society!! n so on!!
i m so fed up! since when i gv up my studies..
form six is nt easy as wad u all think!! ok??
n i m nt smart!!
wad u expect me to do..
yea.. i know my marks is low for this time exam..
bt nt onli me ok?? everyone got low..

wad do u expect when the highest mark for maths T in our skul is 63 n i gt 57 which is the second highest..
wad do u expect when the highest marks for chemistry is 60+ oso when i gt 56 which is the third highest..
wad do u expect when the highest marks for bio is 72 wen i gt 71/72 which is the second or highest oso for this subject??

i cant manage to get all As for all the subjects.. i m nt smart!!
i am nt!
u said! when started f6 syllabus, u want me to change to maxwell, bt i say no! of cuz i say no when i have been study in VI for 5 years..
it isnt an easy thing for me to change the situation n study environment.. u know??
why dun u blame urself.. when i was form 1.. when i nvr get ready for my secondary skul..
i asked for shifting to maxwell.. why u say no!
this is so irritating..
t
then, my eldest brother came in n scolded me..
all the EXCUSES u say is juz for u to avoid prob..
u juz dun dare to accpet different study environment, u juz have no courage to try something new.. u dun dare to face the new faces in new skul!!
wad r u talking about?? do u think u relly understand me well.. i m nt that kind of person! k?
i wanted to stay in VI

1st! becuz i dun want to change skul environment.. is nt about i dun dare or wad.. is juz i dun want.. this is my choice n i will nt regret!
2nd! i have a smart fren study in VI too, y i wanna leave him.. if i stay in thr, n when i gt any prob about my studies, at least i gt someone to ask.. nt like u goin to teach me anything about my studies..
i have to work hard for myself..

ok, then i think its time for me to stop oepn up my mouth to fight back..
becuz i know if i dun stop, the war will still goes on n make things worst..
den, suddenly, eng hong is here.
then my eldest bro started to talk about his teacher's opinion on us..
ok.. she said i look so arrogant..
well.. ok.. i admit.. bt this is my look. how i going to change my look..
m i arrogant?? i will nvr show this face to my close frens. ok?
this is wad u see becuz u r nt close with me..
understand me more pls??
den his teacher talked about eng hong..
he doesnt agree with wad his teacher said.. den start fighting back..
the war continue again!!
its enuf for me.. i really cant stand for this..
everytime i saw brothers fighting or arguing..
i feel so damn sad..
i dunno.. bt it is really hurt..
i hide myself in my room.. of the light.. cover myself with a pillow..
try to sleep..
dun want to listen to wad they said..
i want my mood to be better..
i slept at last.. bt onli for one minutes..
den eng hong came in.. n ask me to go university with him..
n this is y i m here right now..

ok.. thats all for today.. when i was sleeping.. i thinking of this poem..
本是同根生，相煎何太急。

-engleong-