终于结束了..

一年多的等待.
终于在前天做了一个了断.
结果,算是已经有了一个心理准备吧.
已经打了最坏的打算.
有什么好怕的?
哈哈~!
所以请大家别再讲我们两个咯~
谢谢.

给你的:
我真的有打算就算做不到情人.
做个最要好的朋友也不错的.
可惜的是,我不能忍受,也不能忘记和你在一起的那段日子.
虽然,快乐不会比悲伤的来得多.
可是,足够让我刻骨铭心.
所以我选择当一个"最熟悉的陌生人"
忘记以前的一切。
你生气了。我伤心了。
狠心的我，你真的会选择与我做回朋友吗？
哈哈。你只是不想失去一个朋友吗？
其实，不要紧的。我并不是什么重要的人。
就算我不在你的生活里，也给不了什么大的影响。
一直到昨天，我病了。
等待着你的信息。当时还在蒙在鼓里。
好，我们做回朋友。
可是，直到今天早上。
上线了。看到了照片。
才知道，原来你还是有东西瞒着我。
你并没有责任告诉我所有东西。
我知道，我也没有资格知道你的生活一切一切。
但是，你知道我最痛恨别人骗我。为什么你还这样对我。
我不会怪你。
因为，我已经决定了。
就做“熟悉的陌生人”吧。
或许我们都会开心一点。

好了。
坚强的我，至少没有为了这件事
流任何一滴眼泪。
hu~~
好了。 过去了，就让它过去。
我没有后悔等待你的那段时间。
我觉得值得的。
我爱你这三个字。
就让另一个你需要的人，对你说吧。
加油，你和我。

病了~

今天，睡到十点才醒来。
我的天啊！ 怎么了？
不用去学校吗？
哈哈！
赶紧刷，洗脸，换上衣服就走了。
跳美人计。哈哈！！ 好玩又好笑。

跳完了，去时代广场走走。
去了投篮，看人跳舞。
然后就去pavillion。
约了amanda看戏，但最后没有看，因为tai wei kit 不要看。
走走。走走。怎知道，突然我就蹲了下来。
我走不动了。脚好疼。
哈哈！我完全笑不出来。
我的脚，到底发生了什么事？？
糟糕咯！！哈哈！
我病了。真的病了。
几时才能复原呢？
快一点好吗？

如果爱你，而选择离开你。
是因为，我爱你真的爱得太深了。
如果离开你，而选择忘记你。
是因为，你在我心中真的太重要。
如果忘记你，叫做逃避。
我觉得，或许逃避是唯一的方法。

一直记得。
我不放弃，不代表你还会爱我。

-engleong-

表错情的我。

有时候，我真的希望你伤害我。
至少，我知道你有多爱或恨我。
好过现在，到底是怎样？
我们是怎样了。
我完全不知道，你到底还爱不爱我。
互相猜疑，互相躲避，互相隐瞒，但从不坦言。
从来，我就没有要放弃你
或许会有这个念头。
到最后，一定会把这念头打消。
因为我觉得，我们还有机会。
但为什么，我总觉得你把机会都收了起来。
不让我有一点希望。
也许，这就是你对我唯一能做的事。
也是一件可以让我不要想那么多的方法。
但你错了，完全都错了。
由始至终，我从不停止想我们之间的事。
刚才，我表错情了。
我真的以为你写的那些，都是写给我的。
但原来，不是的。你不是写给我的。
你不再需要我了。
身边，围绕在你左右的。不只我一个。
还有千千万万个，和我有一样念头的人。
哈哈。可笑。
我是谁？我只是一个籍籍无名的小子。
与你比起来，简直就是小巫与大巫。
或许你说的对，我们本来就是两个世界的人。
根本不应该在一起。
是我的错。是我的错。
我一直烦着你。
是我自己放不开。
我答应过我自己。
自从去年预考时发生过那件事后，我不会再伤害你。
但如果你真的不再爱我了，请狠心地对我说。
你不再爱我了。
我不想再为这件事流泪。
我知道，我需要你。
但如果你需要的人，不再是我，我会离开。

希望，
我真的希望，你可以想清楚，再告诉我。
你的决定。
不需要勉强。反正，爱情本来就不可以勉强的。
我会以微笑，面对每一个决定。你的决定！
谢谢。

-engleong-

想念，像风一样

思念是一种，很玄的东西~

不经意地想起了这首歌。
对！思念的确很玄。
让人想念一个人的力量，不需要很大。
一点就够了。

想起了你，想起了你爱的歌，更想起了你的脸。
叹气声，一一占据了我的心。
耳朵不断响起，你的声音，音律。
难道，就是不能让我入眠的原因。

身体越来越差了。。
是己人忧天，还是真的呢？
不知道。也不想理。
得过且过，过了一天就一天。

谁懂，谁理，谁管，谁想。
不懂，不理，不管，也不想。

哈哈！！
人就是那么可笑。
想念一个人。
却无法告诉她。
收在心里，谁懂？
她不会懂。

好了。是时候睡了。
拜拜。。

-engleong-

bio soil analysis--> fahrenheit----> pavillion

it is really tiring and annoying when teacher told us that school holidays we r having extra class..
holidays are for us to rest bt nt study lo!!
y muz VI teacher make all the form 6 students stress le?
i dun understand~~

bt luckily we have our own way to remove n release all the STRESS away!! haha
i was freaking tired in the morning mayb caused by sleeping late for these few days.. i mean almost everyday! haha
soil analysis is fun~
bt we re-do it again and again since we dont know the method to carry out the experiment. until we find it out by ourselves.. so PROFESSIONAL! haha
den someone decided to take our ASS photo becuz we both have the same brand tag on our pants!
the SIFAT queen! haha. levi's brand tag~
take alot photo in skul bt i lazy to put it out!
dun want to talk about thing in skul!

skip~~
n then FAHRENHEIT 88!!!
take alot pics there~ let photos tell u wad i have done thr~
wee~~~
first of all! sushi zanmai~


cheers~~~


before the food comes~ picha time!!!!


nice food~

hehe~~ saliva coming out a~~


i like this photo so much!!!

after that~ we walk around n talk alot alot photos~~~~
post some of them here.. lazy la~ haha





den we went to pavillion n take photos again! haha




y m i look cute huh!! haha

i look so cute!!!

went to snowflakes n eat.. these are they!!!!weee!! nice~




haha! thats all la! tired..
nitez ppl~

-engleong-

想念，此刻此时此景

已经很久没有上我的部落格了。
很想知道，我最近发生什么事吗？
哈哈。

最近的心情，会比平常悲了些
因为该在的人，已经不在了。
有一点寂寞的感觉吧。
说没有是假的。
或许，自己看开了许多吧。
不会好像以前一样，钻牛角尖。
以前，不甘寂寞的我，会躲在房里哭吧
现在，习惯就好的我，会勇于面对它了

好久好久没有与华文学会的人玩得那么疯。
好尽兴，好享受，好开心
这才是我想要的日子

回想以前的日子
有了你，令我感受到，普通朋友给不到的感觉。
但我会慢慢习惯。
习惯没有你的日子。
希望，我希望这只是暂时。
我真的好怀念，以前与你共度的时光。

holiday mode hasnt on yet

today is the last day of skul for this week.. Deepavali is coming..
went to skul n sleep? haha. funny duh!!
i rather stay at home n sleep..
went to skul juz becuz i have CLU meeting la.
i m a very responsible president lai de..
hahaha.
perasan betul!!
i m who i m.. i m a joker in the world!
i like to make ppl smile, like to make ppl laugh.
when they laugh or smile.. i will definitely feel happy too..
haha. i weird?? isnt it?

meeting goes quite well.. bt the problem is..
i need to shout when i m conducting the meeting..
summore, i had finished my whole bottle of water n make my throat freaking dry n pain!!
omg!! first time..
haha. kinda good.. at least everyone laugh n had fun throughout the meeting.
no one cries like last time.
bt still.. ur noise have to reduce.. n pls gv cooperation to me when i m talking..
do ur stuff faster..
bt nt last minutes.. this is my opinion to u guys!
i cant say that i m a good president.
bt i can promise myself.. once i becum the president.. i will do my job well..
this is wad i hope u guys will follow too..

after that, went to eat with frens..
Chloe, lai fun. terry, zhen yau, eddison, sam, tai.. haha
went to MACHA mamak restaurant.
this is always the best moment for my every schooling days.
haha. after skul.. went to this restaurant.. eat n make noise.. forget all the stress, pressure, sadness...
wooot~~ relief!!!!
hahaha...
chat alot with tai n sam..
ooo!!
吊哦，噢，aiyok, aiyok, 不错哦！！ hahaha
we were all learning jay chou!!
n all laughing non stop! haha..
the tauke there already get use to our craziness..
haha..
eat til 5 sumthing.
then go home!! haha..
bt someone who has problem wants me to stay back.. n discuss about his prob..
ended up with went home at 6 sumthing.!! haha.
ok. things settle.. stay strong! be tough! haha..
this is wad i can say..
be urself.. ignore the bad, remmeber the best.. haha. =)
thats all..

-engleong-

private and public

recently..
i keep setting my blog to private n public..
i juz dun want to let others to read my sad stuff..
n then affect ur mood.
i will open it back when everything is fine. including myself.
now i open it back..
so u guys can read wads happening on me.
well..
thats all..
nitez ppl

-engleong-

勇气

轻轻的你，犹如轻轻的风，带来了我沉重的心情，悲伤的思念。
受了伤的心，该如何复原。

是。
我是。
我是一个没有勇气的人。
一个没有勇气面对现实的人。

事实，告诉了你。
却不想面对。
哈哈
可笑。可耻。可悲。可怜。

我并不乞求，把所有事情告诉我。
但不要，对我那么狠心。 可以吗？
难道，那么久的感情，可以因为那梦想，而通通抹掉吗？
我并不知道，如果你不再爱我了。告诉我。好吗？
哭了。再次，哭了！T.T

狠下心，说再见，不容易，后流泪，才发现，爱不在，不重要，都放开，梦想路，你加油，我支持，到永远。

random

at my brother university now..
i totally gt ntg to do here as my brother having meeting right now..
wth man.. he left me in his hostel room..
luckily his university has wi-fi service..
otherwise, i definitely killed by the boredom here..
omg!! first time stay together with another guy who i dunno at all..
he is my brother roommate..
well.. he is nt my roommate.. i feel so paiseh when blogging infront of him..
i mean.. in front of someone who i dunno at all or we known them as strangers..
haha..

well.. gt ntg to do here.. so plan to blog a little bit about today..
since all of my frens include my classmates are all goin to ARP camp today..
my class onli left one person which is me!! so all the teachers planned nt to teach..
of cuz.. if teacher wanna teach me alone, i will say NO to them too..
wad for studying alone.. of cuz wait for my fren to continue the syllabus together..
i m nt that selfish lol~
perhaps i m lazy.. haha..
chatted with them at open hall from 9 til 11.. becuz some of the stupid ppl said they will depart at 9 bt ended up depart at 11 sumthing..
omg!! haha. bt nt bad oso la..
can chat for so long~ haha..
make a lot noise n fun..
y i always can joke in skul, bt nt at home..
i wonder if i can be a joker at home.
today things wont happen n my mood wont be ruined today!!

reached home at 5 sumthing..
sit at home i thought i can sit down quietly n rest for a moment..
suddenly, my mum started everything.. talk about me! gv up studies becuz of on9-ing, girs, frens, society!! n so on!!
i m so fed up! since when i gv up my studies..
form six is nt easy as wad u all think!! ok??
n i m nt smart!!
wad u expect me to do..
yea.. i know my marks is low for this time exam..
bt nt onli me ok?? everyone got low..

wad do u expect when the highest mark for maths T in our skul is 63 n i gt 57 which is the second highest..
wad do u expect when the highest marks for chemistry is 60+ oso when i gt 56 which is the third highest..
wad do u expect when the highest marks for bio is 72 wen i gt 71/72 which is the second or highest oso for this subject??

i cant manage to get all As for all the subjects.. i m nt smart!!
i am nt!
u said! when started f6 syllabus, u want me to change to maxwell, bt i say no! of cuz i say no when i have been study in VI for 5 years..
it isnt an easy thing for me to change the situation n study environment.. u know??
why dun u blame urself.. when i was form 1.. when i nvr get ready for my secondary skul..
i asked for shifting to maxwell.. why u say no!
this is so irritating..
t
then, my eldest brother came in n scolded me..
all the EXCUSES u say is juz for u to avoid prob..
u juz dun dare to accpet different study environment, u juz have no courage to try something new.. u dun dare to face the new faces in new skul!!
wad r u talking about?? do u think u relly understand me well.. i m nt that kind of person! k?
i wanted to stay in VI

1st! becuz i dun want to change skul environment.. is nt about i dun dare or wad.. is juz i dun want.. this is my choice n i will nt regret!
2nd! i have a smart fren study in VI too, y i wanna leave him.. if i stay in thr, n when i gt any prob about my studies, at least i gt someone to ask.. nt like u goin to teach me anything about my studies..
i have to work hard for myself..

ok, then i think its time for me to stop oepn up my mouth to fight back..
becuz i know if i dun stop, the war will still goes on n make things worst..
den, suddenly, eng hong is here.
then my eldest bro started to talk about his teacher's opinion on us..
ok.. she said i look so arrogant..
well.. ok.. i admit.. bt this is my look. how i going to change my look..
m i arrogant?? i will nvr show this face to my close frens. ok?
this is wad u see becuz u r nt close with me..
understand me more pls??
den his teacher talked about eng hong..
he doesnt agree with wad his teacher said.. den start fighting back..
the war continue again!!
its enuf for me.. i really cant stand for this..
everytime i saw brothers fighting or arguing..
i feel so damn sad..
i dunno.. bt it is really hurt..
i hide myself in my room.. of the light.. cover myself with a pillow..
try to sleep..
dun want to listen to wad they said..
i want my mood to be better..
i slept at last.. bt onli for one minutes..
den eng hong came in.. n ask me to go university with him..
n this is y i m here right now..

ok.. thats all for today.. when i was sleeping.. i thinking of this poem..
本是同根生，相煎何太急。

-engleong-

诗----叫珍惜

我转着手中的铅笔
看着空白的纸张
想起‘你’

我摇着坐着的篮椅
看着乌黑的天空，
用云朵模拟‘你’

我打从心中在想你
听者虫鸣的声音
呼唤‘你’

我是不是很侥幸
因为有了‘你’
才了解，
何谓情

直到你决定离我远去
我才知道，我有否存在于你心底
直到你决定想要放弃
我才知道，你根本不属于我
直到你让我伤透了心
我才知道，原来我不是很坚强而已
直到我真的放不下心
我才知道，没把你抓紧，是我最后悔的决定。

珍惜，眼前的人，永远的情义。

new song again

歌曲：就当爱
作词：陈泳甬

困在房里的我
一句话都不说
孤独躲在角落
无法控制的痛

冷风轻轻掠过
麻痹所有的痛
刺痛在我心中
抱你在我怀中 oh~

如果可以 我愿意 付出我一切
如果爱你 我相信 不再说抱歉
如果离开 才明白 爱已不存在
如果承受 了伤害 再也看不清未来

就当爱 在你我之间距离徘徊
不想被放弃感觉失败
因为我放不开

就当爱 让所有一切变成空白
时间一一过去都成了遗憾 已不在
经历的回忆 是否还存在

oh~~

因为爱你 不愿意 放弃了一切
因为相信 才决定 不再说抱歉
因为离开 才明白 你对我的爱
因为承受 过伤害 才不让你离开

就当爱 在你我之间距离徘徊
不想被放弃感觉失败
因为我放不开

就当爱 让所有一切变成空白
时间一一过去都成了遗憾 已不在
经历的回忆 是否还存在
我希望我们从来 不曾放开。。

a day i will nvr forget

in the morning..
i already i will not have appetite to eat..
so i sms-ed yee ling dun pack food for me..
haha.
then suddenly feel abit hungry during recess so buy something to eat..
i can nvr stop thinking about that.

Cool.
Emo.
Angry.
Disappointed.
are the above feeling having in u now?? i dunno y u treated me so cool these days.

Hurt.
Helpless.
Sigh.
Sad.
today is the first time i cry in skul becuz of this thing..
this is something that i dun want it to happen in my life..
i know the previous post that i published out definitely will affect us.
bt this is wad i dun want to happen too..
i wont want to tell u face to face
i dun want to see u emo..
i promised myself nt to make u emo. bt i keep broke my promise..
Cried.. for few minutes. den i control myself..
i cant cry. i dun want to let my friends to see their forever joker to cry..
i dun like to act happy in front of them when i m sad.

do u know that? everytime i tell u about my stress stuff n emo stuff i can feel so much better..
becuz when i m stress.. all i need is onli u.
bt i dunno that becuz of my stress and emoness.. will make u emo..
when u say u dun wan to think about it.. n even juz now..
when i talk about those thing.. u speechless..
i hold my feeling.. i wont show my sad face out.
i cant show my real feeling..
juz becuz i dun want others to worry about me.
i wan to be a tough ppl who can protect u as well.. like wad wern said.
bt nt a weak ppl who always cry behind n dunno wad to do.. easy to feel panic when something bad is happen..

i always try my best to change myself.
until today onli i know i m still standstill at the original position bt nvr move forward..

dear..
=( that i make u speechless juz now.
=( that i had made u emo for the past few days.
=( that i nvr think from ur side.
=( that becuz of my emoness, i made u moody too..

-engleong-

我不知道的事

原来，我什么都不懂。

我不知道，
我的情绪，会影响到你。

我不知道，
我的幼稚，会影响到你。

我不知道，
我的关心，会绑住了你。

我不知道，
我的固执，会让你生气。

我不知道，
我的妒忌，会让你无奈。

我不知道，
我的想法，会让你叹气。

我不知道。
但我现在，什么都知道了。
我会改。只需要你给的机会。

珍惜，眼前的人，永远的情。。。
=）

-engleong-

希望有一天

我愿意 去相信 你伪装的表情
直到你 不愿意 掩饰你自己
看不清 你说你 心里的风铃
一旦被风吹过以后便响起

再一次 看着彼此 眼泪不受控制
这一切 画的句点 又何必再眷恋
如果你 已经决定 跟随爱的感觉
一起走出我们曾拥有的世界

我希望真的有一天
让你紧靠在我的肩
与你共度的每一天
一一刻在我的心田
近近的贴着你的脸
画着你心中的想念
与你画出美丽句点
我想我们可以相见

我可以 陪着你 不让你哭泣
看着你 你的泪滴 伤透我的心
你给的 给的一切 是否该放弃
不再执著所以才能过得更清醒

我希望真的有一天
让你紧靠在我的肩
与你共度的每一天
一一刻在我的心田
近近的贴着你的脸
画着你心中的想念
与你画出美丽句点
我想我们可以相见

我希望真的有一天
与你不必再说抱歉
尽管有多么的狼狈
走处我们 的世界。

-end-

stress gonna run away from me after a week...

i skipped skul today juz to study at home..
funny ya! skip skul juz to study..
wad kind of theory n reason is this! haha
mayb i can study better in skul..
cuz my eldest brothe now making sound pollution...
he is singing K while i m studying..
oh gosh!!
i cant believe that i can tahan for so long.. still highlighting the PA points..
bt of cuz nt memorising it yet..
i really cant study now..
brain stuck!!!
i gonna fail my exam this time!!..
shuld i gv up or continue study?
of cuz if u know me well, i wont gv up so easily~~ >.<
played plants vs zombie when i feel really bored..
it finally wake me up from study this stupid PA..
i still left around 100 pages haven memorise ONLY!!
haha..
sound so arrogant, bt wad i mean is 'only' lol..

last saturday.. (16/10/10)
i always tried to blog about our dating.. becuz i hope i can note it down forever..
like wad william shakespear's aim for writing the SONNET 18..
early in the morning.. do housework as home as my mum ask me to do so..
finish everything in an hour i think.. i m superb pro in doin housework..
perhaps better than a girl i think? hahaha
well..
we already planned to go pavillion last week..
went out to find xintao together with kaizer.
went to maxwell first.. bt since they haven finish their chinese class..
so we waited for them outside their classroom.
departed at 12 sumthing..zun zen n pei wern went thr by foong chia's car..
meet there then~

reached pavillion, n wait for them at main entrance..
went wong kok after that to wait for clement n have some food cuz xintao n yen rhu nt eaten yet.
wthx la wern!! haha u know why i say thx?? oo.. too bad.. u wont understand.. haha
buy CHILD'S EYES ticket together with zun zen..

to zun zen <3: y r u always almost fall down when stand together with me a?? *at escalator*

haha.. funny lol~
went back to wong kok n clement reached..
we watch SAMMY's ADVENTURE.. dun worry clement.. is nt ghost movie..
i dunno that clement actually scare of ghost movie! haha
make us laugh out loud on spot..
hahaha..
dun scare.. many gor gor thr~~
ok.. the movie started at 2.05 bt we went in at 2.15 i think.. we were late a little bit..
the process of watching it is damn funny lol..
nt scary oso.. cuz ppl around me make me feel funny..
some of them wrapped themselves like ketupat on the chair.. *a girl who i dunno at all sit beside me..*
den someone who sit beside me screamed once becuz wern scream at her ear.. hahaha..
clement scream when thr is no one scream make all of us laugh lol!!!
hahaha...
wanna try another one next time?? clement??

went to dragon-i to have our lunch..
la mee~~ haha.. ok lol.. nt bad..
laugh alot oso.. especially zen n wern..
all guys are damn blur becuz we dunno wad they both laughing at..
sot sot de~~ hahaha
the onli pic of the day!!

tada~~~



like this so much~

well..
since wern have to go.. den we accompany her to wait for their parents..
then, its time for us to say goodbye to her becuz her parents reached.

went in again den gelato time! i cant eat becuz having stomachache suddenly.
gosh!!!!!
=( sad lol~
zen plan to go food court.. den we went down thr n sit n rest..
wei kit called n then he come n met me..
went to speedy.. n stadium.. inside is so damn cold..
bt someone feel cold.. so gv her my sweater lol..
haha.
i can walk together with u for so long lol..
a bit tired.. bt u r more tired than me~~ haha..
dunno wad to say anymore..
i dun want u to go home lol~
cuz i know i gonna miss u so badly after that.
haha..
bt u still have to go.. =)
watch u go up ur car.. den onli i go..
lalalalala~~ i miss someone while typing this! haha
gonna study now..
stress!!! haha. =)
go away.. SHoo SHoo!!

study!!! PA!! i m gonna beat ur S off!!
haha.. good luck to all my frens!!!
all the best for tomolo!!!
fight together!
yea!!!

-engleong-

失望，是你们给我感觉到的！！

一代不如一代。
这是学哥给我们的意见，给我们的评价。
你们是真的让它实践吗？
我真的很担心，我会找不回以前的感觉。

CLU is getting worse n worst!!!
i dunno how to say..
bt. is my problem or ur problems..
it is better if it is my problem becuz i know that i definitely will change myself no matter wad..
bt how about u all..
can u all please shut ur mouth n do ur work properly..
do not need to care about wad others said n think...
juz do ur own work.. nicely, perfectly.. tats all..
is that hard for u guys..
or u all dun wan to do it..

president post isnt that easy.
to organize a society well is hard..
becuz i m nt eng hong.. i m nt the one who organize 9 skul gathering, SS camp!!!
i m fucking stress u know..
i cant get any support from anyone of u..
becuz u all nvr think at my point of view..
i used to be a joker in VICLU..
n the days was freaking fun n enjoy!
what happening?? why all these happy moments gone juz becuz of the new batch coming in..
EMO, BACK STAB, CRY, HURT... the most popular n suitable word for all of us in VICLU 10/11

i dun wan to say anything in this so much..
ppl always say..
家丑不外传。
我就是要传。

我不知道是我变了，还是你们变了。
希望，永远存在。
但不希望它会转变成失望。

good luck to all 10/11 NEW CLU committee..
if u all really want CLU good.. n becum the best society in VI..
pls........
change all ur bad things.!!!
post mortem isnt conducted juz for fun...
remember wad i had told u all..

-engleong-

music blog~

well.. spent few days to think of my songs..
i mean.. each day one song..
haha.. kinda fun..
bt too bad that i m cannot play music instrument..
so i can only sing it out..
kinda shy to post it out although this is my own blog..
bt anyway, hope u guys like it..

i dunno y,
the melody in my mind sometimes is juz so familiar to some song that already created by others..
haha. mayb i m nt good enuf to compose my own song..
bt i will try my best to achieve the best..
hahaha..
thx to those frens who actually support me with ur heart..
thx alot.. n thx to those who actually gv me comment no matter good or bad..
these make me to improve myself in this..
gv me more comment..
i have to improve my chinese language too.. haha
well.. of cuz u all are nt the first one who listen to my song..!!! hahaha

frens always be the one who support u bt nt family members..
they always insult me no matter wad i do..
even i m juz singing other ppl songs, they will ask me to shut up n says i m noisy..
well? i juz do wadever i want without getting anyone's permission.
alot thing to blog today.. simply because i did nt blog for dunno how many days..
becuz of this MUSIC brain!!!
==..

back to my life~~
my life is interesting.. haha.
becuz i have someone who i need the most..
becuz i have someone who can hear me n share my happiness n sadness..
becuz i have someone who can cheer me up when i m down.
wad about my skul life?
i had juz done my MUET speaking test on last thursday~
unexpected results.. becuz i actually get the highest in my class..
woooot~~ doesnt mean i m good in english..
juz talk crap.~ haha.
n the teacher is kind..
i gt 30 over 45. is considered good gua~~
juz nvr look too high on this.. cuz my english is nt really good..
=P

wad about CLU~~
this year.. i cried twice becuz of CLU..
last time i used to be very fun n dun wanna go home when having meeting..
i even feel like quiting this society..
no fun, no cooperation..
onli argument between the AJK..
Backstabbers all around..
yucks!!!!
bt luckily n finally...
the feeling is back.. mayb we muz work together after getting scolded by the seniors..
then onli WE all will listen..
bt. let ppl scold very fun mie?? cant we juz do something without getting scolded by others..
i so KIND thats y i dun want to scold ppl la.. hahaha
perasan betul..
bt i think this is feeling is onli when together with the young one n some of the old one...
there are still some of them who dont really wanna join us in this..
we cant get all together in one like last time yet..
this still needs some time..
hope next year will be better..
n hope u all remmeber wad i said..
do not back stab! if u wanna talk about him/her.. talk in front of them..

recorded few videos in skul..funny video~~!!
hahaa..
some of them are in damalis phone..
n some of them are in wei inn phone..
waiting for them to upload..
cant stop laughing when watching that..

eh macha!!! sini orang mau jalan.. kau duduk kat sini buat apa~~!! hahahahahahaha

-engleong-

第三首歌- 远。离。爱 (远距离恋爱)

作词-陈泳甬
作曲-理由，还是一样。。
歌名-远。离。爱 (远距离恋爱)

看着你，
静静聆听你的呼吸
呼吸声里满了空气

想着你
你我之间分隔两地
在多么遥远的距离

爱情再转身
就让我勇敢的奔
走进了永远关闭的那扇门

远距离的恋爱
有多少个空白
独自站在露台 受着伤害
有无尽的对白

空地长满青苔
岁月都流白
以前的在想不开 全都放开
因为爱 你我再重来

听见你
心里面深深的烙印
让回忆随着风而去

问着你
埋藏在心底的秘密
一切都不让我看清

爱你有多深
不必再放声去问
让全世界知道我爱你有多深

远距离的恋爱
有多少个空白
独自站在露台 受着伤害
有无尽的对白

空地长满青苔
岁月都流白
以前的在想不开 全都放开
因为爱 你我再重来 oh!

远距离的恋爱
有多少个空白
独自站在露台 受着伤害
有无尽的对白

空地长满青苔
岁月都流白
以前的在想不开 全都放开
因为爱 你我再重来

就算远距离恋爱 受过伤害
因放开 爱情才存在

-end-

再你不需要的时候，自然会离开

我的心好疼
不知道为什么
看到了，只是那短短的一句留言。
看见了时间，只是在那一瞬间
或许，我并不是你需要的那一个
可怜的人，
形容得好贴切哦。
哈哈！

不禁想起以前队自己许过的承诺

我会以微笑来队待每一件事！

第二首歌-不够勇敢

作词:陈泳甬
作曲:都说了本人不会玩音乐嘛!
歌曲:不够勇敢

自己的看法-对不起，chorus 有点像我爱他。哈哈！！！ 本人的华文造诣也不是很好。

不够勇敢

爱情本来就不该是这样
因为, 每个人有不同的梦想.
直到想起了
自己生活模样
不想让生活过的放荡

如果结局让人觉得慌张
只因,没空间没有了方向
一直等待着
他想对我说的謊
才发现自己不够勇敢

我爱他跌入无穷无尽的山谷
只害怕爱他这个决定是错误
放不开的情 让它一一留住
走出不该停留的公路
我才领悟.

我不想再停留在这时刻
不让,你把我的心再割舍
心痛的想着
唱这悲伤情歌
只好收拾好自己的行李

看着他一步一步离开我远去
却不能一步一步慢慢地靠近
贴近你的心
体谅你的心情
告诉我你不曾放在心底
叫我死心
OH~~~

我爱他跌入无穷无尽的山谷
之害怕爱他这个决定是错误
放不开的情 让他一一留住
走出不该停留的公路

看着他一步一步离开我远去
却只能一步一步慢慢的靠近
在这瞬间里
与你的回忆
永远把它藏埋在心底
让自己 死心

只怪我自己不够勇敢
想你却心伤。

please do not laugh at me if the lyrics is bad or i sing like a toad..
this is juz onli for fun~~~~~~~

我的第一首歌

歌名：没爱错的他
作词：陈泳甬
作曲：还没有，由于本人不会玩乐器，所以只能用来哼的。


一首歌
写给你的一首歌
在脑海里不停的想着
只为了等待那一刻

哭泣了
因为你而哭泣了
紧握的手不停颤抖着
只因为我想你了

chorus:
不停的 徘徊着
昂首望着天空却下雨了
想起了 自由自在
无忧无虑的那一刻

停下了 脚步呢
被风吹过以后就消失了
失去的 回忆全都消失了
因为你我无法忘记呢

哭泣了
因为你而哭泣了
恍惚的眼神凝望着你
只因为你一直在这

chorus:
不停的 徘徊着
昂首望着天空却下雨了
想起了 自由自在
无忧无虑的那一刻

停下了 脚步呢
被风吹过以后都消失了
失去的 回忆全都消失了
因为你我无法忘记呢

就算爱错的他 无法自拔
不管别人说他有多么傻
不管风雨多大 流言多怕
我也不会让你离开了我的世界
因为爱你到永远

不停的 徘徊着
昂首望着天空却下雨了
想起了 自由自在
无忧无虑的那一刻

紧紧的 拥抱着
无法放开所以就牵住了
失去的 我都会一一记得
因为你我无法放弃了。

因为你我无法，忘记你~~

good luck to u guys!

to all the SPM candidates..
its ur turn now.
haha.. good luck in ur trials!
juz a few weeks. very soon den will end de.
dun worry.
to those forrm 5 i know.
clement,kaizer,xintao,yen rhu- maxwellian
yinyi,pei wern,suzanne- SBU-ians
alot more.. lazy to list out..

of cuz..
for u!! good luckz!!
u know who u r. haha.
=) be confident. i know u can do it.!
support u.

STPM candidates.
VI de CLU-ians.. good luck!!!!

PMR. SAm n Tai..
well.. good luck to u too...

backstabbers!

i hate back stabbers..
y? no y.. i dun think there is ppl who like back stabber.
this recently happened on myself.
i dunno y.. ppl juz like to back stab others..
like was i posted in facebook

如果你想要打败我,请你在光明正大的情况下,显出你的实力.不要在我背后重伤我.
我的私生活,轮不到你来管.谢谢你的''关心''

dun care about this kind of ppl..
juz calm down. n be happy tan eng leong...

yesterday went to wei kit house n stay overnight.
talked alot n played alot..
summore go eat supper together at 2 sumthing after i finished something.
=)
sleep be4 3 o clock..
haha.

skipped skul today becuz yesterday played til so crazy n sleep really late.
go alvin house played PS2 after sending theen meng home.
wei kit keep losing one. ==
haha.
go to skul afterward.. at 1 pm.
almost late to go pudu.

to YOU:
luckily still can meet u.
haha.
pass the thing to u..
tell u sumthing later. haha

go to meeting after that. =)
meeting ok la.
juz discuss about wad we can improve next year..
n the problems that we faced this year.
well.. backstabbers.. stop talking bad about ppl..
not onli me bt others too.. shut ur mouth n stop back stabbing.
ntg much. so juz skipped..

-engleong-

I beLIEve YOU

我真的不想。
但是我无法不这样做。
在没有和你谈话的时候，真的很闷。
我宁可不交谈，也不想像刚才一样。
我会想很多。
终于，我下线了。等待着。
哈哈。

yesterday,
9 skul carnival..
haha. fun? mayb..
suprise? mayb
dunno how others feel..
juz do my best n then everything ok.
i really dunno wad to blog when i onli remember something that i cant blog it out.. haha
bye readers.
juz to tell my overall feeling
preparation- i m worrying about everything
practising- i m worrying about my performance
resting- i m worrying about whether ppl will come or nt,
when carnival start- scare
half way- getting more ppl coming in.. excited..
end- happy ending..
sending someone home- touched, happy, sweet..
reached home- tired..

-engleong-

changing templates

haha.. funny lol.
the first time i so confuse about changing my templates..
change templated at 1 sumthing.
with someone..
she is teaching how to change the templates..
haha.. i m super blur with this. haha.
i discover myself.
den suddenly can wor~~~
haha.. wad a nice try..
=) to the one who teach me~ haha
first time change templates together.
i can be very happy juz becuz of a little thing that we do together.
=)
is it a good thing? haha
i think it is~

-engleong-

I.N.E.E.D.Y.O.U

T.O.D.A.Y..
I.T.S. M.E.E.T.I.N.G. D.A.Y. A.G.A.I.N.
W.E.L.L
I.T. M.A.K.E.S. M.E. A.N.N.O.Y.E.D A.G.A.I.N.
I. D.U.N.N.O. Y.
W.H.E.N. H.E C.A.M.E.
M.Y. M.O.O.D. I.S T.O.T.A.L.L.Y D.O.W.N.
I. D.U.N. W.A.N.T. T.O. T.H.I.N.K. A.B.O.U.T. I.T.
S.A.W. Y.O.U.R. >.<. M.E.S.S.A.G.E
R.E.P.L.Y.
S.M.S. Y.O.U.
U. D.I.N. R.E.P.L.Y.
W.O.R.R.Y.
H.A.H.A.
N.O. A.P.P.E.T.I.T.E.
N.O.T.H.I.N.G. T.O. D.O.
S.T.I.L.L. W.O.R.R.Y.I.N.G.
N.O.N. S.T.O.P.

W.E.N.T. T.O. M.I.C.H.E.L.L.E.'S. H.O.U.S.E.
W.R.A.P.P.E.D. M.O.O.N.C.A.K.E.
T.H.I.N.G.S. H.A.V.E.N. S.E.T.T.L.E.D.
F.I.N.E...
S.E.T.T.L.E.D. M.Y.S.E.L.F.
N.E.E.D. Y.O.U. N.O.W.
H.A.H.A.

L.O.V.E. Y.O.U.
W.E.N.T. H.O.M.E.
B.Y.E.

-E.N.G.L.E.O.N.G-

swimming n potluck day!

CLU meeting early in the morning.. i reached skul around 9.30 n saw jacky n wei inn walking from the VIOBA.
well, continue..
the first day we have our meeting during skul holidays
everyone follow wad we said.. no one wearing short pants. thats great.. we din get scolded by anyone.
the meeting goes on as usual..
n there are many problems happen.. not onli the nine skul event bt oso my own events.
even i think CLU new batch committee attitude is a big prob to VICLU.
dun think we r good. i mean this batch.. nt the previous batch.
i cant say that we r really bad.. bt, i cant see any good things from us.
this thing annoyed me for the whole day. ==
thx for SBU little girl gang's concern. i m fine.
the meeting ended around 2. the we depart to wern house for the party..

reached wern house within half an hour. my hand is pain when i go down the car. cant even move it. haha
*p.s-u know the reason.. haha.
then go wern house n then she said we r noisy.. =( sad la..
thats nt noisy.. is is hyper voice~~
den we ordered pizza to eat...
while waiting for pizza..

D zun zen n wern- playing comp
xintao,kaizer and clement- playing PS2 with wern's bro
meng tsu- walking around.

ok, pizza delivered den we go down to pool~~
n eat!!! thats it.. the pic below~~



den they start to play water..
i din bring any extra shirt so i choose nt to go down..
juz pull up my jeans n immersed my leg into the pool with zun zen..
haha. =D
wern is so funny cuz her bro is feeling very cold. n she hugging him to make him feel warmer. haha
like raping her own brother.. haha



picture time~
i onli took 2 pics during the whole party.. the first one is the moment we ate pizza..
n this is the second one.. haha
facebook caption- awwwww so sweet.. hahahaha.. this caption make me laugh out loud when i first saw that! haha... by wern!



the three sexy guys in the pool!!!
they did alot funny moves n make us laugh too!
wad a hyper moment!!
i hope we can have this together again!
wern- sek do la!! hahahaa



after swim.. everyone go up becuz of hungriness. haha. especially the three sexy guys n meng tsu~
continue our pizza meal.. while zen n wern were changin their dress..
they finish the pizza in minutes.. walao!
so hungry mie u all???
LOL...

the last pic of the pool party!
this two guys copy wernn zen move...
this make me speechless bt it is so FUNNY! haha
cover their body with shirt be4 meng tsu snapped this photo!



we continue our party until 8 o clock becuz wern said she is bored if we go home n she wants us to accompany her..
bt p.s- i feel like goin home n accompany sumone who went home earlier.
wern dun angry~ hahaha.
well.. continue playing PS2 with wern's bro n the three sexy guys!
den we play squash with wern,crystal, xin tao, soon n wern's bro..
haha.!

overall- thats a nice party.. n i wish i could attend again!
wern!!!!!! sek do la!!!!!

yesterday

yesterday.. went to chee keong's house for sports party..

planned to play badminton n swim..

too bad that badminton court is used for dunno wad malay praying..

therefore we cant manageto play badminton n we swim straight..

thx mooi for bring his netbook thr.. or else i will be bored like hell cuz i dun realy like to swim..

some childhood memory.. thats made me like that.

we swim until around 12 like that.. then went to tennis court to play BADMINTON..

haha.. the court is really bad.. almost fall down..==

well.. i fell once beside the pool when chee keong trying to push me into the pool bt i refuse him to do..

when the time we against each other.. den i fall n hit my backbone.. ==

i felt damn pain n summore i fell into the pool.. oh no..

i stand the pain n walk to the side .. frens pull me up afterward..

now i m fine. haha

ok. went mcd to eat n on9.. den play SNOOKER.

i was so damn pro. can do skill...

haha....

went to puchong after secondary skul fren reunion to join eng hong..

i mean CLU reunion.

tired!!! bt i cant say nt to go becuz they will scold me if i dun go..

well.. go thr for steamboat..

play with lee yen's hair.. so damn funny! haha.. ka jun took pic!~~~

n celebrated cheryl bfday too.

thats all.. bb

-engleong-

除了你，我什么都看不到。

oh gosh! i onli slept 2 hours and 30 minutes for today..
yesterday cant sleep n called someone..
thats y i slept late.. bt luckily she accompany me. haha
anyway. skip that cuz u cant know about the conversation.
woke up at 5am n help mum do work.
den back home at 6.30am then had my breakfast which is TAUFU FA+ hot soya.
went to lrt at 7 sumthing den reach skul within 15 mins.
lol.
teacher haven come yet! we waited for teacher about 2 hours! omg..
extra class started n end at 11 sumthing..
my brain is gonna burst cuz too much thing i have to remember n memorize juz in 2 hours time!
how to study like that! form 6 really tough!

well.. luckily my frens had planned to go watch movie after that.
to release stress!!! with an EX-victorian- ern qi!!!
went to pavilion n they said they wanna watch 'love in disguise'.
i think of someone when they said this.. GUESS who?? haha.
i missed the ending of the story.. haha..
y?? becuz i ran out from the cinema hall after i received a message.
i was so worried when i was reading that..
u really prank me. u win liao lol~ haha
*ps:dun say sorry a!
went to wong kok restaurant to have some drinks with frens..
TAN JIE whole day let me zat dao~~ haha
everyone keep laughing..
ern qi.. i think u miss these kind of memories alot ryte?? come back to VI la.. haha
i m the BEST joker in L6BM. i think~ no one can do this job better than me ryte??

love in disguise:
杜明汉：你看到什么吗？
宋晓青：除了你，我什么都看不到。

杜明汉：因为他牵着你的手。
宋晓青：牵着我的手？他只是在研究我的手。

joan 姐：杜明汉才是你的人生。
杜明汉：阿德才是我的真正人生。

宋晓青：你叫什么名字？
杜明汉：我是杜明汉啊。来，帮你签个名，画一个爱心，你叫什么名字？
宋晓青：你真的是杜明汉吗？阿德。T.T
杜明汉：（追）宋晓青！！

杜明汉：我知道你们很想要听杜明汉德歌，但今天，我只想要唱这首。
--------------你不知道的事---------------------

宋晓青：你看到什么吗？
杜明汉：除了你，我什么都看不到。

this is so touching when he sing the song to the girl. bt i din cry. haha.
*ps: can i hug u now??=)
this post is for everyone.. bt sum of the message is onli for u~

the 101 post~!

i actually haven calm myself down today..
i m still worrying about the probs that we actually haven solve about that event.
the main prob is- the time!!
dun feel like telling it cuz it makes my mood worst!
well... i thought i can count my account(mooncake dedication) by today..
however, i failed to do so.. simply because the order list that given by the form-rep is really messy!!!
i really stressed up n piseed! omg.. i m so down!!!
i m so bored now.. i dunno wad to do cuz she went to her farewell party..
n i gt no one to chat with. i mean.. the one i need is always u..
its already10.50pm.
my mood nvr get better..
bt luckily it din go worst again.. haha.

wad a tiring day~
haha... waiting.=)
i miss yesterday n you~

single is single,double is double..
single+double = single bt not available. =)

-engleong-

8/28 one day camp and 8/29 best memories...

28/8..
went to SBS for one day camp.. i roughly talk about this since my memories nt really clear about that day..
had a lot fun especially the water game!
enjoy it so much..
SS alot..
thx to all the VI campers too..
thats y we can SS one gang bt nt i SS alone.. haha
well.
my dearest meiSSSSS- caryn and wei xin!
u both did well.. proud of u~
haha. =)
went home n feel tired..! reached home around 9 sumthing i think..
n i was too tiring den slept at 10 sumthing after i take bath.
thats all about SBS one day camp..
thx to AMANDA LEONG, SUE FEN, SHARON, EUNICE(My faci), JINNIE and so on too.
PAISEH.. too many i cant list out one by one.~

29/8
nt really in good mood actually..
bt, SOMEONE has made me feel so much better..
thats u lol.. who else~
first experience- webcam with her. haha.
happy lol~ i really hyper alot when webcam with her..
summore when she showed her serious face~ i feel more funny..
*when she is doin maths. solving the ques. haha
i will always remember yesterday!!!!

29 of august! the best day~ the most memorable day!

Kuantan trip~

went to kuantan this last saturday!
family trip.. went thr together with my aunt n uncle..
we went thr by car.. i think we took around 5 hours to reach thr..
we departed at 6am.. bt reach SG. lembing around 10 sumthing..
* sg lembing bt nt kuantan.. ==
damn it.. sit until my buttock pain.. =(

haha.. however.. finally we reach kuantan n go to the first destination..
the water park at kuantan..
this water park juz opened..

the first pic i took over thr..

in front of the gift shop of the water park.. things inside nt really nice.. no wonder so quiet..

afterward, we played thr...

kinda fun.. enjoyed it so much.. bt tiring! haha

the last photo we took over thr..

family photo~~~

went to muzium sungai lembing be4 the water park..

haha.. sorry readers.. forget about the schedule..

these are the photos we took at the muzium.

my mum n bros~! the girl my bro holding is actually my cousin..

the next photo..

the arrangement- i arrange one le!! nice le~~ so artistic~

the pic we took inside..

thr are two mirror facing each othr.. wad a nice scene for us to shoot~

bros!!

another pic took together with my elder bros...

i like the lighting effect~!

the next one.. this is our 5 bros photo!!!!

haha.. nice!~~~~

after that, went to the ostrict farm juz nearby the muzium~~~

the first solo pic i took thr~

the first solo photo with ostrict~!!!

second day of kuantan trip~!!

we went eat here n thr over n over again..

this day is the most suffering day..

although we din go anywhere..

bt u know wad??/

we really eat den sit den eat den sit over n over again!

this is damn tiring n make me damn freaking full!!!!

oh no!

haha...

after that, went to the woohoo movie de beach~~~

this is it!!!

5 models taking photo together..~~

nice ryte?? i noe i m the ugliest inside..

bt please dun insult me! haha

jump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the small kid is my cousin too~~

the second solo pic i took for the trip~

went to a shop which sells seafood near the beach~

n i found this!!!!! woohoo~~~

the poster with all their signature~~ took togehter with bro!!!

nice~~~ hehe

after that~ we went n eat again!

see.. our whole day schedule is onli buy, sit n eat!

haha~ nice bt really SAN FU~~~ haha

anyway!! long time nvr play until like this anymore..

i enjoyed so much~!!! n during the day!! i miss her so much!!! haha

thats all for the trip..

enjoy reading!~

-engleong-

the past~

past? wad is past?
is it everything that happened be4 now known as past?
well.. mayb it is..
oh no.. according to my english teacher, she said definitely yes.
ok, i forced to answer all my question with past tense whenever i saw the words 'yesterday,long time ago, 5 minutes before, wad so ever...''
however, in my real life.. i juz dun care about that.
even the thing that passed LONG TIME AGO. i will still think that thing just happen..
n never forget about that..
no matter good stuff or bad..
mayb ppl will say i m good in memorising, bt thr are ppl who think in a negative way.
cuz i will remember wad u all did to me.. no matter good or bad..! haha

YESTERDAY..
my mood is exactly from 100% dropped immediately to 10-20%.
i feel very happy when i meet her. haha.
bt my face really showed damn boring..
i m a hyperactive ppl.. once i stop talking, i will be like that..
so dun worry, i wasnt emo yesterday~ haha..
n promised u be4.. nowadays, very hard to emo..
y dropped?? i m nt gonna talk about it.. eventhough it was still new in my mind..
i juz wan to let the sad past pass~~ go away from my mind~~
i need to stay happy~~ =) hope i can!!!

TODAY!!!
my mood was still ok..
ntg much about today..
juz getting back my exam paper..
so far everything still ok.. i got three of my papers ady..
first-chemistry-77%
second- maths T- 85%
third- Pengajian Am- 92%
high ryte??? haha.
i wonder if i let my classmate to see this..
they will say i satay(chuan!) again
waiting for my bio paper.. the most scary paper..
the first time i sit for bio until i scare i will fail it..
wish me lucks!
and most importantly!!!
she is gonna on9 today.. WEE~~~~~~~~

p.s- i scare i gt ntg to say. haha..
later make u feel boring..
i dun dare to tell u this. scare u scold me
dun think so much a. i m nt emo.
juz worrying. haha~

-engleong-

1 and a half year~

its already 1 and a half year i fallen in love with a girl..

this time period does not consider long nor short..

i dunno why. i just cant give up her.

n i promised n swore, i will love her forever..

friends always tell me.. do not say it so early..

but i m juz hoping that i can do it for someone i love.

yesterday night, i was not emo. i cant emo.

bt u were. u told me the reason. i dunno how to cheer u up.

i think i make ur mood more down?? m i?

y i cant gv up on u?

mayb juz becuz of things we went through.

the problems that we used to solve together, face to face..

not avoiding each other.. when problems occurred

n i think this have strengthen my love for you.

this is y i cant gv u up? haha.

know wad is my bfday wish on that day??

* i wish the one who stand beside me on that day will always stay happy. n i could cheer her up whenever she feel stress or emo.

* our academic.

* we will have a good future..

hope my wishes will come true in one day~

ok. well.

waiting for ur blog.. haha

-engleong-

拒绝。。

拒绝一个人，
真的是不好受。
尤其是要拒绝一个曾经视为最要好的朋友。
当然，现在也是。
只不过有些事往往就必须二选一。
而不幸的是，你是被拒绝的那一位。
我很对不起你，该在之前就好讲清楚。
直到现在，我不能再那么自私。
你可以找到更好的。
或许在见面，我们都会很尴尬。
但我们还是好友。永远的好友。

拒绝=挣扎
诚实=残忍
欺骗=自私

在爱情里，并没有对与错。
只有爱与不爱。
我很相信这一句话。
爱一个人并没有错，唯有选错了该爱的对象。

说再见，是为了以后在想见的时候。
可以用这一个词语。来作为结尾。
永远都能再相见。

朋友。对不起。

absent!

suppose to go to skul today morning bt end up sleeping at home..
y?
i m nt lazy duh.. i stomachache in the morning..
i had it since yesterday bt i nvr care about it..
thats y today morning still pain..
bt at last had medicine den sleep again..
stomachache cure.. n now flu attacks me..
bad day la wei.. i wanna study! exam coming soon!
let me study please..
after i blog will be studying for the whole day?
mayb.. haha.
sometimes i really beh tahan den come here n on9!
haha. anyway~
juz a short post today..
bye~

-engleong-

days before exam..

wad do u think about me these days..
ya.. i did change alot.
i thought it was a achivement in my life..
u know? i hardly change myself juz becuz of u.
y?
the power of love? ya..i think so..
mayb for others this is wad they call stupid becuz i fall in love with someone i dunno she love me or not.. n i dun even know.. will i get what i want..
however, i m sure wad i wan n i dun care about the results..
no matter good or bad.. as long as i enjoy now..
everything is fine.
this is wad i always think
bt things that very hard to carry on in my life.

n sumtimes..
thing juz go worse n worst when good thing juz onli happened..
yesterday....
i dun want to talk about it anymore..
i really scare when u din reply me at all..
u said u r nt angry with me. of cuz i feel relief after u say that..
bt wad ur did after that is actually making me confuse n doubt that wad u said is true or juz lying to me..
finally.. u miss call me at 10 n i called u.
happy when the moment we talk..
i totally forget about wad happen between my brother n i..
n i juz wanna chat with u happily..
this is wad i wan n wad i think when i m talking to u in phone..
the time i chat with u.. i was smiling for the whole conversation..

n finally.. 4 hours ago..
i sms-ed u. bt u din reply..
r u sleeping?
r u busy?
r u still angry?
do u love me?

i dun dare to ask anymore question to u.
everything seem to be obstacles to me..

bt.. these cant stop me from loving u.
many ppl will nt believe this..
including u.
u will be the last person i love in my life..
cuz i believe that
if u accept, i will love you forever.
if u refuse, i will nt wanna get hurt anymore..

-engleong-

bfday party

now onli blog about it ...
as these few days i m nt really have the mood to blog..
well... back to the day of our bfday~
depart at 5 sumthing from house to lrt..
den straight to pandan jaya with sam n amanda.
waiting for kha hsuen to fetch us to Zun zen house~
haha.. thought khai hsuen know how to go.. bt actually he did nt know..
==
spend 2 hours to reach her house i think?
n at that moment i already gastric n tired..
half dead....
reach thr.. den start eating..
heating the chickens wings.
n eat...

din really eat much..
dunno y..
no appetite gua~
den chit chat a while with zun zen~ n force her to sit with me to accompany me..
wakaka..

after that. go in her house n chat with kaizer n xintao.
wern n khai hsuen too~
nt bad chatting with u guys..
talked alot with leo lai. n this make me abit emo.. cuz he ask me alot about those stuff...
==

then its time to cut cake..
made wishes... wanna know?? wakaka
dun wanna tell!~
well.. eat cake n then finish...

thats the summary for bfday celebration..
thx for everyone who wishes me..
thx for everyone who gv me presents,

=) i love ur presents.. i keep it n din use.. wakaka.. i scare i spoilt it..=)

-engleong-

我说过，我会以微笑来对待每一件事。

忽然，想起了这一句话。
在回家的路途中。想起以前对他许过的承诺。
我知道，很多很多，都是还没实现。
甚至，有些是根本没有完成到的。
但有一件事，我想了很久。
也很肯定，我是不会放弃的。
就是改变自己。
我不曾想过要放弃。
因为我知道你不会想要看到我难过的样子。
我更不想你因为我的难过，而勾起你的伤悲。
所以，我说，我会以微笑来对待每一件事。

wad i wanna express is finally finish.
i read my previous post n i saw 'swear it again'
this post reminded me about wad i had promised..
mayb i juz need to calm down myself so that i can think clearly..
n no matter wad happen.. juz like wad i said above.
我会以微笑来对待每一件事。

=)
will blog about our bfdays party!~

-engleong-

an early post!

woke up at 5.41..
dunno y juz woke up automatically den sms her..
to wish her good luck.. this reminds me of wad she did to me when i joined danau kota singing comp..
she wished me good luck in the morning although she was sick...
i felt damn sweet. haha.
dunno is it i think too much. i waited from 5.41am til 7.00am..
bt still. my phone din ring.
i thought she angry with me.
finally i cant stand for that n call her.. she told me she is nt angry.
thx god.! i really scare she get angry becuz of me..
i rather she scold me, punch me, hit me bt dun ignore me..

i thought i changed myself.. bt actually i m nt.. i juz need more time to make it a success.
will you wait for me?
can i have more time to achieve it?

i swore i will do it.. wont break the promise.
once i din give up, the promise doesnt consider as break.
i wont make empty promise to u.
cuz u r the one who is important for me.
gv me more time..
can i call u tonight? let me know if u can.

having meeting later..
i gotta miss her so much.
good luck n add oil..

-engleong-

sorry again~

haha.. i dunno wad to blog.
main purpose for this blog. to release sadness

ya.. totally emo now..
feel like crying.
did a stupid thing.. keep calling when her dad next to her.
i really nt an understanding ppl.
sorry..

i really feel to cry.
bt controlling myself nt to.
i m juz too emotional..
sorry~

-engleong-

tomorrow gonna be our big day..

birthday~

is that important?? sure it is..

bt can u sure that tomorrow u sure will feel happy becuz of this..???

i cant make sure of this..i m juz worrying about something.. scare there is something gonna happen tomorrow..which can make me sad..

i HOPE i juz think too much! anyway.. i know my dear will make me hyper.!!!

wakaka.

first of all.. gonna say happy birthday to myself..

Tomorrow is my birthday..

i will nt know wad's gonna happen to me tomorrow in skul..

bt i know i will nt really care.. wakaka..

n most importantly...

Happy birthday to zun zen~

=) we having same birthday date

=) i can celebrate with u

=) happy birthday

=) may all ur wishes come true

i juz cant wait for tomolo!

btw, i gt ntg to say for now..

-engleong-

i m home~

finally i studied today!
i promised myself to study be4 july bt end up with playing computer everyday..
however, i m nt really concentrate becuz thr is something else in my mind which distracted me from studying..
i m nt in a good or bad mood at all.. juz neutral..
last time i used to be either very good or very bad mood in a day..
no matter what happen.. bt surely wont be in a neutral mood..
i juz dunno y today i feel that so.

sometimes i really think that frens are no longer appear in my lifes..
everyone who beside me.. i dunno can i consider them as my frens or juz passer by in my life..
my life is tough.. i juz have to go through everything hardly n with all my effort..
no matter in skul, family or outside...
life isnt that easy yet it is very complicated n tough..
i hope i can pass through every obstacles that i meet in my life..
wish me luck guys n girls...
i need it so much!

let's talk about today..
skip everything about P&P..
she called me suddenly to ask for meng tsu phone number..
i wish to talk to u longer..
bt anyhow, u r in skul n u say money is running out..
so.. forced to say bye to u..
after skul..
every lower 6 CLU committee are busy preparing chinese chess competition..
i m one of them.. n of cuz.. i did alot works as i m the head of the judges of this activity..
this is freaking tiring n tis could make me headache..
i stand for almost 3 hours in a day.. juz to walk around n look how's the progress of the competition..
luckily everything went nt too bad.. bt nt good enuf..
i m nt really satisfy with wad i have done..
anyway.. it is over n we did a great job..
left semi-final n final on this friday~
let's work hard for it CLU!

this is the 6th year i join CLU..
we r getting closer n closer..
i hope we can do better than the year i joined be4..

i still haven received ur reply.. i m worrying about u~

-engleong-

blogging in skul..

this is the first time i blog using skul computer..
it is fun bt yet.. scary..
suddenly someone come from behind n ask.. wad r u doin..
den i m dead! wakaka
however.. juz plan to post a short post here..
to show that i m blogging in skul!

bye everyone who is reading my blog..

-engleong-

i m nt feeling well....

my heart.. aching..

stop thinking!!

be happy~!

u can do it!

原来

i choose this topic as i saw it randomly from dunno where..
juz to type some craps bt couldnt think of the topic of this post..
suddenly moody come strike my mind..
i dunno y la~! i juz dun wanna be emo god back..
wakaka.

wad happen today.. boring duh! dunno wad to do for the whole day..
maths... i always fall asleep la..
how! i cant concentrate.. =(
how to study at home... i cant.. =(
i very stress n many problems will occur if i din score well in my first exam!
i m worried..
wad to do!!!! no one can help anyway!

boring!

i m trying to relate this post to the title..
wakaka. bt i dunno how..
原来，我不是一个好男人。
原来，我一点也不了解。
原来，我还是那么的幼稚。
原来，我。。。

-engleong-

bad day!!!!

wad a bad day for me!
today.. assembly was freaking boring as i m nt really energetic n feel blur at all time..
went to assembly bt skipped lines!
went thr to pass sanjivan YEE CHANG name tag..
funny duh~ guy wearing a girl's name tag..
==

anyway.. assembly passed fast n i was worrying about the next class..
its MUET!! speaking test duh!
i thought i can do it well..
bt the first BAD thing happened...
teacher actually cant really hear my points n she said i nvr link my points to the topic...
i feel disappointed n i gt low marks for that..
onli 28! oh no! bt luckily teacher gave us a chance tro resit for it! IF she gt time..
read properly! IF u know.. nt comfirm yet....

maths! the next bad thing happened...
u know wad.. maths is actually nt that hard if i can concentrate during Mr Tham class..
i fall asleep during his class.. bt i forced myself to open my eye instead of 'fishing'..
i din learn anything during his class..

haiz... sad things juz cant leave me alone..
they juz come attack attack n attack at all time..
went to staff room to look for Mr mazlan..
i went thr for so many days bt still.. He is so busy until i cant meet him once during in these 5 days!
hate it!

finally.. skul finish n i thought i can have a nice CLU meeting..
bt somehow.. theen meng brings me a VERY good news!
i juz cant accept the fact.. n i dunno how to handle it..
i agreed with wad he says.. bt however.. read the following paragraph later~ to be continued in this topic..

went to TS to find Khai hsuen n pei wern with Chloe..
thx Chloe for accompanying me.. otherwise i think i will bored til i die...
reached TS Mcdonald....
saw them..
n go sit together with them..
khai hsuen really kelian as he is totally palau by pei wern n one of her frens.
they was talking non stop until khai hsuen finish the two large packs of french fries..
salute PEI WERN! wakaka..
so much saliva de mie??
finally she gave me some ideas on the bfday presents..

ask khai hsuen n chloe to accompany me to buy the presents..
i spent 3 hours to find for it!
omg! i ju can think of anything to buy for her..
i suddenly feel look down on myself..
onli khai hsuen n chloe know why~
suddenly down at that moment..
n finally bought something which is nt very special...
bt i hope u will like it.. it is very cheap..
i dunno wad to buy.. as dear knows.. i dun like to shopping bt i walked 3 hours.. wakaka..
i juz nt satisfy with wad i bought.. bt i really cant think of anything to buy for u...
eng hong took my first choice's present for u.
n i cant have the another one which is look better than that~
i m sad!

next.. sorry n thx khai hsuen for sending me to pasar seni.. bt in a results of making u get scolded by ur mum.. n summore.. the staff is closed...
i was like == when i reached thr.! FUCK!
another bad thing!!!!!
today really freaking unlucky u know! wad the fuck happen to me today!!!!!!!!

went home.. thought to get some support from my family about wad theen meng told me juz now..
bt in a results of get scolded by them too..
2 brothers n my mum keep talking non stop n make me freaking annoy...
i was freaking tired ady.. n they nvr think of my feeling..
i dunno wad to do... wad u all expect me to do...
i juz wanna do something i like.. bt u all stopped me..

n then.. wads next! this is totally bring my mood to the down-est part...
wad is that!??
huh!!!!!!!!!! i hate it!
i planned to go her skul to meet her tomolo..
bt wad eng hong told me is!! :'' eh, tomolo also the same.. 4 o clock u need to reach titiwangsa... i need u to go UM with me.. den bring mama home..''
wad the fuck! cant u juz tell me be4 i planned all this thing.. n now u ask me find another day to go? i m totally down becuz of this u know!
haiz.. things juz dun go well with me today!

my mood is totally spoilt because of my stuides n my family..
luckily my dear is with me always.. nvr leave me alone..
bt the last thing i mentioned really brought me to the deepest part of hell! i m freaking sad n angry! i juz cant calm myself when i think about it...

bye... mood down...
i need ur console n comfort..
can u call me?

-engleong-

sorry~

i shuldnt off my phone today..
i m so freaking stupid.. i m nt around u when u need me..
i m pissed becuz of myself..
i juz cant do wad i had promised u..
*i broke our emo promise
*i broke my sleep earlier promise
*i broke my rest more promise
lastly
*i broke my always around u promise.

i juz cant forgive myself..
how can i break so many promises..
i wont gv any excuse to my own self anymore.

i wish i could be like last time.. so weak.. can cry out loud easily..
why cant i juz cry now..
no one will know.. how i feel now..
even mayb u oso wont understand..
things are so complicated..

lastly,
dear! sorry~
i cant accompany u when u really need me..
n i really hurt..
when u said:'now i dun feel like find u ady'
i m totally down.. down n down..
T.T
finally.. in the end of this post..
i cried!
teardrops on keyboard...

i cant forgive myself! stupid ENGLEONG

-engleong-

its already 9 o clock

its already 9 o clock..
bt i haven received any messages from u..
r u sleeping?
r u studying?
r u having dinner?

i do not know... =(

where r u? worrying so much!
i really scare u dun want to bother me anymore since that day..
n i dun want u to do that on me anymore..
u know u r important in my life!

however.. wad i post about is all passed..
bcuz... u sms-ed me when i wanna start posting this post..
dunno i shuld feel happy or sad now!
haha! very complicated feeling..
juz to release my sadness in blogging way!

thats all

-engleong-

maxwell singing comp~

yesterday was maxwell singing competition
i was kinda exciting with it!
becuz i know many VICLU mates are supporting me, jacky n oso theen meng..
well.. let's rock the PARTY!!!

haha.. theen meng's number was number 9.. mine was number 16 n jacky is unlucky 52..
mayb consider lucky to him cuz the rest were singing sad song bt he is the onli one who sing hyper song....
theen meng.. u did well la! dun worry! ur first time n at least u got something..
we blame the mic!!!!

me- to my own advise... try harder next year.. do not gv up! u can do better!!!! blame the PA oso...

jacky- gratz la u! u did well.. we were so hyper yesterday!!!!!

the winning probability for VICLU is 100!!!! woooot~~
happy!!!!

finish... bb

-engleong-

after knowing this from someone

do u all think my singing skill is good???
nt really actually..
there is many ppl so far better than me!
i nvr learn.. i nvr taught by someone, i nvr sing everyday at home!
i juz like to sing~!
haha.. sometimes i felt thing juz goes very funny yet complicated..
u know wad??
if i won the competition can really make someone lose with alot unsatisfaction..
i rather lose it.. this is y i always dun wanna join solo category..! becuz when there are so many famous 'singer' compete on the stage.. bt the trophies are nt belongs to either one of them..
bt someone who is nt popular at all.. or mayb u nvr heard his/her name...
u know wad?? i rather lose the competition than i lose a fren in my life!
this thing does affect my mood.. my mood swings after hearing this!
i dunno can i perform well tomolo for my singing comp!
n summore, it is solo category.

as i said, everyone can sing actually...
n for me.. god gv me a nice voice..
i appreciate it so much.. i juz can sing better than some ppl..
bt NOT all.
there are still many ppl can beat me in singing comp..
y m i trying so hard to get the first place for singing comp..??
seriously.. i nvr think of it.. i dun really give a damn to it!
it is okay if i cant a single place from competition..
i lost be4.. nt that i never lose..
i dun care!!!!

i hope there is really ntg between me n u~!
juz work hard together..
we love to sing.. don't you?
juz do our best for tomolo! no matter who is reading this n did take part in maxwell singing competition..
i will do my best..
i can do my best!!!
n tomolo.. will be~
i HAVE done my best!!!!

-engleong-

fuh~

i dunno y m i so moody now..
really becuz of ntg u know.
bt the feeling is freaking annoying..
that even make ur heart pain..
i think too much today..
stop thinking about bad things..
this will make myself worst..

great~
i dunno y.. everyday around 9 sumthing..
my head is like spinning n my vision very blur..
i feel like i m gonna faint some day~
mayb i slept late yesterday.. or i shuld say.. everyday! haha.
juz went back from my aunt house..
my nephew who juz borned one month ago..
today celebrate his one month's bfday..
actually shuld be tomolo..
today my aunt juz simply cook some foods to serve us..
it is nice though..
went back home after eating since our house is juz nearby..
on9 straight to chat with someone important to me..
haha. bt my moody mood haven recovered la.!!!!
gonna make her gek liao~!!! cham cham.. i m scared~~~
trying to calm down myself..
ok.. this is wad i did next.. blogged!!
n now.. click publish..

bye everyone who is reading my blog..

-engleong-

singing comp+dinner

woke up at 5am...
this is the first time i woke up automatically
becuz i had promised PPL to give her morning call
however, she din pick it up..
n i dunno whether she wake up ady or nt?
haha. anyway..
start clean up n make up at 5.15am.

help mum to work be4 i went titiwangsa..
tiring bt good becuz gv me a chance to make myself nt sleepy..
try to open my voice when working..

went titiwangsa after that n saw MBS sentul ppl..
they went thr to support a VIVE girl n pei wern..
i wonder how's pei wern think when she saw someone holding a board while she was singing..
haha..
waiting for zun zen n pei wern at titiwangsa lrt station..
n of cuz. VI ppl..
went thr by bus..
reached thr around 8 if i m nt mistaken.
walking with zun zen n pei wern all the way... while jacky walked with wei inn n chloe..
competition started.. n we all were nt nervouse at all..
bt i think around 20++ participants sang..
we start to be nervous n tension..
we all PANIC duh~~!!!
i was damn scare until i dunno how to sing ady..
zun zen first among 4 of us(zun zen, engleong,jacky,clement)
we all did our best!

den we rest for a while to prepare for second category- DUET!!!~~
actually jacky n i planned to sing duet first so that we can make all others contestants scare sikit..
bt our plan failed cuz solo first!
haha.. funny la.. sure alot ppl say us chuen~
btw.. we did well in duet.. we feel relief after all!~~~
den its clement n kok jian turn...
they like gay lou while singing the last part of the song.. OMG.. i cant imagine it!
then its zun zen n pei wern turn.. they r great..~~ i like their performance.. they juz lack of some communication.. otherwise they can beat the second place de...~~

its time to finished everything..
watch some performances performed by the judger..
damn funny la..
den they announced the results..
they announce crowd award first..
for solo- the little girl from puteri titiwangsa.. (she is great! salute!)
for duet- me n jacky~ woot! thx for everyone who vote for us..

then its duet's results!!
third- zun zen n pei wern~~
second- taman connaught de. i dunno y i juz feel that they abit chuen~! dun like them!
first- jacky n i!! we did well!! great partner!!!

den its solo!
third- the littlegirl who got crowd award juz now
second- me~~~ happy!!!
first- a girl from smk assunta..

den its pic time! i lazy to upload photo here..
anyone who wanna see de hua.. go fb n see urself la..!~
wakaka..

went my house after that..
for 9 skul charity celebration!
i scared she got tired when walk to my house.. cuz she walked a long distance from smk setapak to the bus stop.. den from bus stop nearby my house to my house..
around 5 km we walked i think!
bt she say she is ok.. wakaka.. u r nt weak!! u r strong enuf..
bt still need my protection?? wakaka

reach my house.. n i start show my trophies to my mum..
cuz she dun support me to sing.. bt i won..
den the celebration start at 7.30.
bt whole day i nvr eaten once.. so follow li chen went to kawan lama to eat abit..
ordered my favourite.. ROTI CANAI GORENG!!
wakaka.. eat be4?? nvr??
den went back home.. n start eating again.. cuz the party started.. haha..
crazy me.. bt i cant eat much.. cuz really full dy..

i cant think ady.. cuz now hungry.. thats all la..
p.s- remember wad i told u during competition.. when u r sitting thr..
it is real n i nvr lie..

im happy when together with u.. no matter where we are..
as long as there is me n u.. i think.. i will feel happy at all time..
I did wad i promised.. i nvr lie.. i DIN emo~~~~

-engleong-